Am I an Anxious Person, or Do I Just Experience Anxiety?
Child: “I’m hungry”
Dad: “Hi Hungry, nice to meet you. I’m Frank.”
The classic Dad joke, teaching children everywhere they are not their feelings. Yet we all do it, use the phrase “I am”, followed by a feeling word. We often hear that some people are naturally happy, and it’s true – many people seem to live in a constant state of contentment. But what often underlies happiness is the ability to fully embrace and experience a wide range of emotions. True happiness comes not from avoiding the lows, but from allowing ourselves to feel them, knowing that both joy and sadness are integral parts of the human experience.
Now, you may say, “But some people are happy all the time.” And that’s possible. However, part of that happiness is likely rooted in deep, meaningful connections with others. These connections bring immense joy. But here’s the thing: one day, those connections may change. People come and go, and we all face loss in one form or another. When that happens, the very person who seems constantly happy will experience sadness, too. It’s the natural ebb and flow of life.
By putting ourselves out there, connecting with others, and allowing ourselves to feel the full spectrum of emotions, we create a more resilient, authentic happiness. It’s the willingness to face both the highs and the lows that ultimately leads to the most fulfilling life.
Understanding Anxiety Symptoms
Every emotion you experience is part of a biological process. Your brain’s purpose is to keep you alive. The brain stem is responsible for swallowing, blood pressure, breathing, heartbeat and more. The cerebellum is responsible for balance, coordination, and walking. And so on. The brain looks after you in a perfectly natural and primitive way. The fight or flight response is a natural and necessary process. One that your body expects throughout a lifetime. However, it doesn’t expect the switch to face on permanently, and it certainly doesn’t expect you to become it. For more details on exactly what’s happening within you when you feel anxious, click here.
How to stop identifying with anxiety
When you say, “I am” and follow it with a feeling word, you make it part of your identity. This can shape your sense of self.
When you say “I am anxious,” you are it and it is you. It is easy to explain how you feel on an anxious day, but you have no idea where to start when someone asks how you feel without anxiety. Without consideration, you make anxiety part of your identity and lean into it. You wake up each day an anxious person and don’t take the time to explore, imagine or trial any other feelings. When I asked a client to write a feeling diary for a few weeks, they felt enlightened to discover that anxiety isn’t present all the time. This simple exercise was the first step in separating themselves from anxiety.
To free yourself from this trap, stop for a moment and consider whether anxiety is a permanent aspect of your identity. Ask yourself: Who am I without anxiety? How do I behave, think, and feel when I’m not consumed by worry or fear?
Who Are You Without Anxiety?
Anxiety doesn’t have to define you. Take some time to explore who you are. Grab a notebook or your journal if you have one, and take a few moments to reflect on the following prompts:
- Without anxiety, what do I feel comfortable doing or pursuing?
- What activities, hobbies, or passions make me feel connected to my true self?
- How do I want to describe myself when I’m not focused on my anxious feelings?
- What is one thing I can do this week to nurture my identity beyond anxiety?
Taking time to journal about these questions will begin the process of separating your identity from your anxiety. You are not your anxiety, and you have the power to step into a life that feels authentic and free from the confines of this label.
How Hypnotherapy Can Help Break the Anxiety Identity
Everyone’s experience with anxiety is deeply personal. Working with a hypnotherapist can help you stop identifying with anxiety. They’ll also offer valuable insights and tailored strategies to help manage and reduce anxiety over time. In therapy, there is no “one-size-fits-all” solution. What works for one person isn’t right for another. That’s why, when you work with a hypnotherapist, they’ll first listen. They’ll hear to understand – your story, concerns, and symptoms. Based on this, the hypnotherapist will explain the best approach for you, guiding you on a path toward healing that resonates with your individual needs.
Some ways I work with clients to help them overcome chronic anxiety include:
Observe Without Judgment: Taking inspiration from mindfulness, I ask my clients to notice when anxiety arises, without attaching any negative labels to themselves or it. Instead of thinking, “I’m so anxious,” I ask them to observe the feeling with curiosity. For example, “I’m noticing a sense of tightness in my chest. I wonder what’s behind it?” Our feelings are there to guide us. What can you learn from them? What do they signal?
Challenge Anxious Thoughts: Once you notice anxious thoughts, challenge them. Is there any reality to the anxiety? Are they exaggerations? Are they things you can control or let go of? In hypnosis, I ask my clients to thank their brain for the alert. With compassion, tell their body they understand the reaction. They appreciate their body wants them to run or fight. They get why their breathing is fast and shallow, and their chest feels tight. BUT right now, they don’t need the alert.
“Thank you, I am safe. Thank you for the alert, I’ve got it. Right now, I am safe.”
Reconnect with Your True Self: Within therapy sessions, you can take time for deep introspection. Rediscover who you are outside of your anxiety. What are your passions, strengths, and values? Reconnect with activities that make you feel like yourself, whether it’s a hobby, a relationship, or time spent in nature.
Is hypnotherapy effective for overcoming anxiety?
There are many things you can do at home to separate yourself from the identity of being anxious. Read books, journal, practise mindfulness, meditate, in addition to the core pillars of sound mental health – nutrition, movement and sleep (plus time in, connection and purpose).
However, if your anxiety feels overwhelming, consider seeking help from a therapist or hypnotherapist. Hypnotherapy is a wonderful way to overcome anxiety. Professional support can help you build new coping strategies and work through deep-rooted anxiety that may contribute to your problem.
Welcome to my website, a space where I try to catch your eye, and explain the heart of my practice.
My journey over 16 years has taught me that true knowledge isn’t about the letters after my name or the timeline of my academic pursuits. It’s about the stories shared, the moments of vulnerability, and the human connection that transforms both you and me. It’s holding space, listening intently, and noticing the patterns within your words and emotions.
Together, we can navigate the complexities of life, embracing both the shadow and the light. So, if you’re seeking more than just a quick fix, and ready to make lasting changes, you’re in the right place. Let’s embark on this journey together. Read more about my approach here.