Finding the Confidence to Leave a Job
Every now and then I speak with someone who wants to leave a job, to progress or to begin a new adventure. It is nearly always a self-development thing. A desire to grow and learn, to travel forward along the path.
Often however, there is something that holds them back. A little voice in their head saying that they are not good enough, they will not be chosen, they might not even get an interview, they need to learn more where they are, they will never get it as good as they have it now and the list goes on. As we delve into those feelings, exploring where they have come from, we find a lack of confidence to leave a job, encouraged if not created by a boss.
It always baffles me. When my friend was in a management position, if he saw a job role come up in another company and knew that one of his team was ready to move on to the next level, they would find the job role placed in front of them with the encouragement to go try for it. A cheerleader telling them they can do it. All members of the team supported in pursuing their dreams.
Confidence Encourages Confidence
Over the weekend I watched The Voice (do not judge me!) and it brought this situation to the forefront of my mind. The coaches that have singing careers of their own yet encourage everyone around them, positivity pouring out of their mouths. When they hear someone that can sing in a way that they consider better than themselves they tell them without being authoritative. As one group of people all on the planet together, here to learn from each other and grow together.
I feel angry as I think of one person holding another back and as I muddle through the thoughts, I conclude that it must always be through fear and fixed mindsets. There are of course many ways to overcome that fear to become the cheerleader boss and friend. The one that roots for the people around you, even when them leaving your team will leave you with some hard work for a little while. But as the employee, having to continually reignite the blown-out candle, of your burning desire for growth what can you do? Well, you could punch your boss. That would surely get you fired; she might be right about the next job then though!
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Confidence to apply for another job
Always remember that applying for a job or attending an interview does not change anything in your current role. There is no obligation to inform your employer that you have applied for a new job neither need you tell them about an interview. Applying for a job role and attending an interview does not commit you to that role either. With a fixed mindset you can view a job application and interview as another opportunity to learn. Severe the connection you have created between a job interview and separation from your current boss. Instead consider everything you will learn for your future from the interviewer. Ask questions, delve into their experiences. Take from it anything you can.
Confidence to ditch your boss
If you believe you can, you can. It is impossible to change your boss, but you can change your actions. A good first step is to change the conversation with your boss. Stick to everyday topics or business-related conversation. Slowly change your relationship so that it is more professional less personal. Remove the opportunity for your boss to diminish your confidence to leave the job. If your boss criticises your work, use it as constructive criticism and consider whether there is anything you can change or would do differently if it was your company. If yes change it, if not allow it to roll away with the knowledge that you have different opinions. With the same two eyes there are hundreds of different views, with creativity there is no right or wrong only different views.
Making the Break
If you wish to leave your current role to begin a new project – go you! – chat with your cheerleaders. People that you trust to be honest with you. All of us have people around us that project their own fears. On the flip side we all have people that feel unable to be honest in case they hurt us and will cheerlead us even when it is a bad idea.
Only you know your full plans and intentions. If you have belief in yourself try to find a professional in the field to speak with. An impartial person that will guide you. Always with the memory in mind that many successful people face rejection over and over before they reach success. Tom Jones and Will.I.Am, on The Voice episode both recount stories of early rejection. JK Rowling’s Harry Potter submission was rejected twelve times and only accepted when a publisher asked his young daughter to read the first chapter! Tom Jones, Will.I.Am, JK Rowling all knew through their own intuition that they had something good. They kept on until they found someone who liked the same view. As it were, once hundreds of people had the opportunity to see or hear it, they all liked the view too.
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If you resonate you may enjoy reading this article to learn how to cultivate a growth mindset