Some Simple Steps to Aid Fertility
The British Fertility Society predicts that nine to fifteen percent of couples will struggle with fertility across their
lifetime and infertility can affect both men and women. Infertility is a failure to achieve a pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sex (without contraception) between a man and a woman. Sex is regular in medical terms when it is every two to three days throughout the month.
If you are finding it difficult to conceive your much-wanted baby there are a few small changes you can make to your day to day life to increase your chances of conception.
The Problem – Stress
Stress is your body’s response to a situation that is threatening your life. Lets say; you are walking in the Australian bush on a really hot windy day when you notice ahead of you a large bushfire coming your way. You need to run fast. Your brain will sense the danger and respond by actioning the fight or flight response that enables you to run fast. Another example, you are walking through your local park enjoying a summer’s day. Suddenly, a large menacing dog charges towards you. It looks as though it may attack you. Your brain will sense the danger and enter the fight or flight response.
These examples are unlikely but realistic examples of when we may need the fight or flight response in our twenty first century lives. In ancient times the flight or flight response would have been more regularly required.
The problem you have is that your brain works in an unconscious (instinctual) way and cannot differentiate between real and imagined situations or situations that are a threat to aspects of your life, but not your life. Therefore, your brain perceives some every day experiences as a threat to your life and reacts accordingly. When your body enters the fight or flight response resources, such as oxygen and blood, are directed towards the areas of the body that need them to run or fight. Depleting the areas of the body that are irrelevant in a fight or flight situation. This includes your reproductive system.
Take some time each day for meditative practise. Five minutes is more beneficial than none however if your body is in a highly stressed state or you haven’t used meditation before you will find it difficult to quickly move out of the stressed state without some guidance. Follow a guided meditation or register your interest for my meditation for beginner’s classes here. I really enjoy taking myself through my body as slowly as I can, switching everything off, sometimes I imagine a switch, other times I am less visual and choose to feel instead. If you would like to guide yourself into the intently focused state of mind that meditation achieves this is a really nice way to do it. I hope you feel the tingles too!
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The Problem – Fear
The thought of being responsible of a new life is overwhelming. There could be fears of “not being good enough” or doing something wrong. Those with a negative parental experience can feel that they will be the same as their parents. When you think about it you know that you want a baby, however there is that underlying niggle of ‘but what if’. No matter how hard you try to make it happen by following the charts, having unprotected sex at the right time of the month, eating the best foods and quitting the impeding habits, your brain has one job – to keep you alive. It does not recognise the difference between real and imaginary. Your brain reacts instinctually to fears with the fight or flight response. It will always try to keep you safe from your fears.
The fact that you are worrying about it demonstrates your care and concern. The first step towards change is recognition. Make a commitment to yourself that you will seek support if you notice yourself behaving in a way that you feel is damaging.
Be kind to yourself, have you ever demonstrated any of the behaviours that concern you? You are not the same person as the people that troubled you. Your concern shows that you will be good enough and more (if you did not care enough you would not be fearful of not being so).
The brain is like playdough, it is malleable. The more you have a thought the stronger the related pathways for that thought will become. Here the obvious happens, more of the same thought create stronger pathways, stronger pathways create more of the same thought.
Implement a negative thought stopping technique. When you find yourself with a negative thought say ‘STOP’ out loud. Accept your fears, and reframe the thought positively.
Your negative thought:
“I’m scared I’ll be a bad mum”
Reframe your thought:
“Being a mum is the unknown. It is normal to be apprehensive about the unknown. I am a caring person that thinks a lot about everything I do. A baby needs love and care. I will put effort into my baby being sure of my love”.
If you find this a challenge on your own, try a couple of personalised sessions with a therapist.
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The phenomenal rate of technological evolution is causing the human mind body connection to split further and further apart. Animals instinctually know the optimum time to mate. Humans buy the latest gadget that will tell us what the body is doing. In years gone the mind and body of human beings aligned. Today we rely on technology to inform us of our own natural processes.
Food is easier to access than ever, but with sketchy information and processed food readily available the innate instinct to eat the foods with the nutritional qualities required is warped.
Mindfulness intends to reignite awareness, so the mind and body are one. Take yourself somewhere quiet and explore your body with your mind. If this is new to you focus on one part of the body. Close your eyes and try to reduce the redirection of your mind. Take an unusually long time to focus on that one part of your body, dissecting each miniscule feeling. Move into your mind and consider whether the physical feelings create any emotional feelings. The more you practise this exercise the easier it will become. You will soon find it simple to explore your entire body. The aim is to be aware of your whole body all the time. The awareness will increase your levels of consideration for your moment by moment needs. Giving you a greater ability to eat what you need and be aware of your body’s processes without having to use external sources as confirmation.
To read more about my hypnosis for fertility work please click here.